Look what I managed to find in my closet.
The World’s Most Mediocre Best Man
Rather than express my true feelings about situations and people, I react with indifference. My best friend, Erik, married the wrong woman. I never told him. I don’t plan to. I was the best man in his wedding. Erik is married. I succeeded in my duties as a best man.
In May 2008, one week after Erik and I graduated from high school, we were going to hang out. Erik’s rusted, beat-up Subaru entered my cul-de-sac. He evacuated the valuables from the passenger seat, throwing them into the backseat. I greeted him. Erik decided that we were going to Wal-Mart. We were shopping for an engagement ring.
XBOX, NEXT EPISODE
This is us, pretty much every night. Voice commands via the Kinect don’t work as well as advertised, unfortunately. You just end up yelling XBOX NEXT EPISODE at your TV at least three or four times before it works.
Weird we do the same damn thing.
This Fucking Year
This fucking year could only get better if NIN went on a tour. First A Perfect Circle and now Puscifer.
Damn you tumblr for forcing me to buy the blu-ray version of Beside You In Time. Okay you didn’t force me it’s just that the NIN fans have just brought back the desire to own it.
Top Ten Reasons for Inviting Penguins to Your Wedding
#1 - They already have suits.
#2 - They look good in a top hat.
#3 - They’ll only choose fish.
#4 - They’ll be a hit with the ladies.
#5 - They know how to dance…most of them.
#6 - They are expensive initially but are a long-term investment! Think of the money you could make!
#7 - You’ll finally have an excuse to wear a long-tailed coat.
#8 - They won’t object.
#9 - The Penguin might crash your wedding.
AND #10 is……
#10 - Batman will come save you! Booyeah!
I helped make this
